Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Stupid Car for Babies

The face of a literal man-child
There is literally no reason to portray a vehicular macho image in this day and age. Doing so is an act of willful ignorance, unless you are literally ignorant. For a brand so prominent in the cycling community as Speedvagen, I am totally in favor of shaming them over the choice of an armored vehicle for transporting fucking bicycles.


1. There are many other vehicular options which yield more storage space, more passenger space, and better fuel mileage compared to a tarted up armored car.

2. You can make a normal cargo van secure by adding certain security features. Omitting windows into the cargo area help with this, too. How do you think every other company on the earth accomplishes this? By buying an armored car? No, dipshit!

3. A bicycle brand doesn't need to macho its image up unless it's awful and needs more attention. I don't think Speedvagen needs more attention. Their bikes are plenty good, and the price for a frame garners enough attention without being shoved into an armored car.

4. Running around in a tarted-up armored car is effectively throwing shit into the face of whatever climate-friendly image Speedvagen might have harbored. Don't talk back to me. Human-caused climate change is a thing and you are a dumb, ignorant baby if you disagree.


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